I don't know whether it's just me, but I feel I have no sense for discipline. Has anyone else ever noticed that they start doing things and then simply cannot keep them up?
Well, as all the magazines are full of tricks how you can avoid eating chocolate by having enough fruit in the house, lock it away (probably not buy any, to start with), there must be a common ground for this problem. When I was a child, I started doing ballet, quite successfully, which is never a good thing in ballet. Don't get me wrong, I like being the best, I just don't like being bullied for being the best. In ballet my teacher did the only wrong thing - she praised me all the time and soon as was the least popular girl in the class as one of the other girls had enraged all the girls against me (yes, Lisa, I am talking about you!) So, i dropped out. Well, it was probably not due to a lack of discipline, but certainly I threw something away where people appreciated and praised me (my teacher, at least, did). Admittedly, I was about seven or eight and a bunch of girls being mean to you when you that age would have required a great deal of toughness to stand up against - especially alone. Anyway, as a child my biggest passion were horses and I started riding and didn't suck at it. When I was a teenager, I abandoned that, too, because riding was overtaken by dancing again. Jazz dance, this time. Which I abandoned for the same reasons as ballet (yes, mean bitches of the Polai Jazz dance school who thought I was arrogant but actually was just shy and hoped someone would be nice to me I am talking about you). Probably I don't lack discipline but didn't have the balls of steels to do dancing. The area many women probably can identify with is sports and dieting. I mean there is even a term for putting weight on and off. At the moment, I have huge issues with my thighs, as my cellulite makes them look as if I was eighty, so I started a strict routine of sports and calorie-controlled eating, and now, two weeks after I started, it's wearing off already. I start munching chocolate bars with the excuse that I will eat less tomorrow or make up the calories with sport (which I sometimes even do, but that is not how you lose weight...) Right, the reason why I am pestering you with this talk is because I started this blog and now hardly ever seem to have the time (alright, I do have the time, just not the discipline, see) to regularly update it. I am so fed up with myself always starting things and never pursuing them long enough to make something good out of them. I aired ONE Youtube video for my baking channel. I did TWO concerts and no more, I started learning the guitar and still cannot play it, I started learning the piano and still cannot play it...etc,etc,etc... Ok, enough whining. I want to update this blog more often (also to keep you informed about me failing to lose weight, of course) and hope you have enjoyed reading it so far and looking forward to reading it in the future. On Sunday, I intend to visit an Alice in Wonderland exhibition, so that should be interesting.
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AuthorIn September 2015 I started a new chapter of my life by moving (temporarily or permanently, not yet decided) to England where I work and socialise now. Archives
December 2017
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