Growing into an adult and actually becoming one are two profoundly different things.
Although I have completed the physical development of my body in terms of leaving childhood behind me, I cannot help feeling like a fraud whenever I am among adults. I don't know whether you have similar experiences, but I could assume a lot of people my age feel "just not right there yet". However, I wonder whether I will ever truly feel like an adult and, more importantly, whether I actually want to feel like an adult. Let's be honest, being an adult sucks most of the time. You cannot wander around in Frozen dresses without causing public attention (and I am talking negative attention here), have to pay everything yourself, have to worry about endless lists of things and generally are required to deal with life on your own. How I wish back the times where my parents had to buy all my shit, including bus tickets, entry or plane tickets. Gone the days where I ran around in Harry Potter cloaks through Innsbruck with my Time-Turner around the neck. Anyway, as you might know from previous entries, I am doing an internship at Haymarket at the moment and realise how unadult-ish I feel. There is another woman in my team who is not just stunningly gorgeous, slim and tall (as if that wasn't intimidating enough), but also only two years older than I am. I mean, I knew she wasn't old, and when she told me she was twenty-six, it seemed to fit. It is rather the problem that twenty-four doesn't seem to fit me. I am just not adult enough. I still browse the teenager book section in book stores because I can identify more with sixteen year old girls than grown women; I am moderately happy if someone gives me a Jojo Moyes book for Christmas, but exhilarated over the top when someone gives me some Harry Potter merchandise; I still giggle about penis or vagina allusions and have inappropriate thoughts whenever applicable; etc, etc, etc. Whenever people talk to me as if I was an adult (because physically I am), I feel like a fraud. It reminds me of the good old days when I was sixteen and went to a liquor shop buying alcohol and praying no one would ask for my ID. Now it is the same. I anticipate that any minute someone will stand up and shout: "You are an impostor and have tricked us long enough, leave the building - and sorry to be so rude" (after all we're still in Britain). So, to get back to the title of this entry, here are some sentences I don't say because only true adults say them:
And I guess there are many more, share the sentences you never say here or click here to get to Facebook and share your comments there (any languages welcome).
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AuthorIn September 2015 I started a new chapter of my life by moving (temporarily or permanently, not yet decided) to England where I work and socialise now. Archives
December 2017
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